Merry Christmas

I hope that everyone had a great Christmas. It was definitely great for us. The kids were all blessed with many wonderful toys and to top it off we had our complete family. I thought a lot about how grateful we are to have our family complete over the holidays. It was such a wonderful feeling.

Baby Reagan smiles!

Yes it happened. Our princess smiled and oh how glorious it was! Being that she is a preemie we never know when she will do something and what will take a little longer than another child her age. She has been all smiles since and we love it!
We had our annual Christmas party over the weekend. What a great time that was! Many of our friends got to meet Reagan and I know they had been waiting awhile to do so. We had a Santa come to see the children and they loved that.
We are counting down the days until Christmas. This is such a special Christmas for so many reasons. We now have our complete family and William and Lucas are just so excited and SO into Christmas and Santa. Christmas morning is going to be so exciting.

2 Months!

Our princess is now 2 months old! Can you believe it! I cant! She is growing fast and doing so well. We went in last Thursday for her doc appt and she weighed in at 8 lbs 12oz. The doctor looked at her and said, "So this is what you would have probably weighed at birth!" The doctor was so happy that she had gained as much as she had. She is holding her head up more and more everyday. I try to make sure we do tummy time at least twice a day. For a preemie that is so important. She is so laid back and just watches everyone! She loves to focus on your face and she loves when the boys come over and talk to her. She still sleeps a lot but heck she is really only suppsed to be about a week and a half old! She will hold on to her passie, which she loves!
We just love her so much and cant get enough of her!

** UPDATE** You will see my previous post on the birth mom from July. I talked to her a lot as she got closer to the day she was planning to sign. We texted tons back and forth. Eventhough I couldnt hear her voice I sensed her nervousness. I talked her through a lot of her pain that day and hopefully made her feel at peace with her decision. She texted me the next day letting me know that she had signed TPR and Baby K went to a family that night. She didnt want to meet the family, she told me that it would be too hard since she got too emotional attached to us. I can understand that. I have tried to contact her since this talk but she has not answered. I remember the last time she was about to sign with us and her grandmother turned off her cell phone so I have a feeling the same thing happened this time. I pray for her often and hope that she is doing well and so if Baby K.

Our Third Birth Mom changed her mind again

You can look back in our blog and find our July 09 failed placement, what a mess that was. It was pure heartache. Luckily Reagan came into our lives and that heartache melted away. Sunday night we get a text from that July birth mom saying she wants to place her baby. WOW! Didnt expect that one. The baby is now about 3 months old and she has realized she really cant do it on her own. It is a weird feeling knowing that we can not adopt that baby. Being the adoptive parents that were there for the birth and now someone else is going to be adopting her is very strange. But at the same time I am so grateful because we wouldnt have Reagan if she had decided to place back in July. Like I said it is such a weird feeling. The birth mom and I are texting each other, I feel as though we have a bond and we are drawn to each other. I am glad she is making the decision that is best for her baby girl. I cant imagine how hard that decision is now. This absolutely reminds me that god does things for a reason, if she had made this decision in September we wouldnt have our Reagan now. I just think it is amazing how things work out the way they are supposed to.

Bad Blogger

I have been so bad at blogging. I have a hard enough time getting on the internet now with three littles ones. Reagan is doing great and growing so fast. We have had a busy few weeks. I look forward to seeing her weight this week at the doctor.
Halloween started out good. The kids looked adorable. By the end of the night we had two very sick little boys. Come Sunday morning we had two high fevers and my husband took the boys to the hospital. Pretty sure they have H1N1 but they wouldnt test them for it. They just put them on tamaflu and sent them home. We are now trying to keep germs away from reagan so the boys are secluded to their rooms and I am keeping Reagan away from them completely. That is the last thing we need is her getting sick. So now to keep momma and daddy healthy as well!
Hopefully I can update more often, especially now that we are all homebound and resting as much as possible.

Going home!

We are heading back home today! YEAH! I am so excited. This was so much earlier than I expected so it definitely put a smile on my face when we got the call yesterday. Traveling with luggage and a small baby has been interesting but I am so excited to go home I dont even care! :) I cant wait to introduce Reagan to our boys and our family. We will all be together again.

In Arizona with Reagan

Sorry I havent updated you. Things have been crazy and I have had limited internet. This whole situation happened so quick, the way I like it! Last Wednesday we got a call from our agency letting us know about a little girl born early at 32 weeks gestation. She was doing well, are we interested? OF COURSE! By Thursday we got the news that the birth mom and dad signed papers that evening and we were on a plane the next morning. We arrived in Arizona around 2:00 or so and went straight to the hospital to meet Reagan. She was perfect. She was still on a feeding tube but improving everyday. We signed the papers that night and spent the next 5 days going back and forth to the hospital. After all love heals right? Soon enough the feeding tube came out, she was eating on her own, and the doctor came in on Tuesday to let us know they were discharging her the next day! Holy Moly! I wasnt expecting that! So here we are staying at Ronald McDonald House, which has been a huge blessing. She is growing like a week and just as cute as a button. She weighed 4 lbs. 13 oz. yesterday. We are heading back to the doc today. I am madly in love and now just cant wait to get her home to see her brothers. I miss my boys so much!

We found our baby Reagan

We are so excited to announce the birth of our baby girl Reagan Rae on September 16th. She was born early and is still in the NICU but doing fantastic. She is perfect in every way! I will fill you in more and put pictures up when I can. We are so blessed and just love her so much!

Wonderful Talk

My husband and I took a 2 hour car ride today to see a football game with the kids. While they were sleeping in the back seat we began our adoption talk. It is always nice to talk about where we are, where we are going, and what we are searching for. Especially as we approach our year of waiting in November it is good to sit back think, talk, and decide what will be our future. It is nice to know we are on the same page and we are able to talk about it and make each other feel better. We are starting a new church tomorrow that we are both so excited about. We have always wanted to go to this church but it was such a far drive for us, low and behold they opened a second location right near our house. A message from god? Maybe. We are both so excited to go!

Started to cry today.....

I started to cry today for the first time in 2 months. Yep todays marks 2 months since baby M was born and I didnt realize it would hit me as hard as it has. Besides the fact that it just doesnt seem like any situation is working out for us lately. It all came to a head today.
Today I had those feelings of- what if it never happens? What if we never find our baby R? I am not really sure what would happen. I guess I would go on with life with a small peice of my heart missing. I love my boys more than life itself so I know they would keep my smile strong. They are my rocks and the funniest thing is they dont even know it.
I really needed to clean the nursery today, it had been awhile since I had been in there and I knew it needed a dusting and a vaccum. When I walked in I got a little sad and wondered as I was folding one of the blankets, "will I ever use this." What would I do with that room if it never happens? I put that nursery together 8 months ago! WOW! 8 months ago I was so positive and excited and thought I would be hearing coos and cries from that room very soon. Here I was cleaning a room that no one goes in and I felt a bit silly, but I cleaned it and walked out closing the door behind me.
I am sure tomorrow will be a better day. We are all entitled to our sad days of feeling that it will never happen for us. This journey has definitely been a roller coaster. One minute I feel like we will have our baby before Christmas and the next minute I feel like I need to think about what I will do with the nursery when we realize we will never be placed with a baby. I will hold my boys extra tight today and be so thankful for what I have right now.

Someone's post:

This was posted on one of our adoption forums.......it speaks volumes and you can see why.

"Wait on Me My princess. My timing is always perfect. I know you're anxious about many things, and I see your passion for all the plans I have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and I see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vinedresser nurtures the vine and waits patiently for the right moment to harvest the grapes, so am I working tirelessly to prepare you to bear much fruit. Don't run ahead of Me or try to fly before My plans are complete. Your strength will fail you and your dreams will wither away. Trust Me that My dreams for you are far greater than you can dream on your own. You will run farther and soar higher if you will patiently wait for the season of My blessing. Draw close to Me now, and I promise that this season of waiting will bring you the sweetest of rewards."

Cute project for school

My oldest son came home on Friday with the cutest project for preschool. He was chosen to bring home the class pet, "Buscuit". ( a stuffed animal) You keep the dog all weekend and journal what you did and take pictures. When you return to school on Monday you bring the doggie back with your journal and tell the class what you did with him all weekend. It is so cute. Let me tell you when my son came out of his classroom on Friday you would have thought he won the lottery. It worked out perfect too because we were going to the vet that day with our dog so we had the vet take pictures with the stuffed animal, it was perfect. We had a great weekend putting this project together and I am so glad that my son thought it was awesome!

Is SO ready to wake up 3-4 times a night!

Isnt that the weirdest statement that you have ever heard! But it is so true! After my two boys I was so excited to be able to sleep all night! I remeber that first night that my youngest slept through the night I was so excited. Well it has been 2.5 years and I am SO ready to wake up in the middle of the night again. Will it happen? I pray everyday that it will. But only the lord knows what is in store for us at this point. I truly wake up everyday and I am so thankful for what I have been blessed with so far in my life. I love my family and my children are just the light of my life. But I cant help but feel that small peice missing from my heart.....my baby Reagan.
Things have been quiet lately. I often times wonder why it hasnt happened for us or why we are being put through all this waiting and heartache. There is a lesson in this and I am trying to figure out what that lesson is everyday. I have been told by so many people that the heartache and waiting is so worth it when you look into the eyes of your child, I know this to be true because I experienced that for 24 hours back in July. I look so forward to that feeling again.

A successful first day of school!

We now have the first day of school behind us! What a great day it was! The boys were so excited. When they got in the car to head home they were talking tons about what they did in school. It was awesome!

Back to School

Is summer over, is it really over? I just cant believe it! This summer has gone by so fast. This is the first time that I have not wanted school to start. I feel sad to know that on Wednesday my boys will be back to preschool. We had such a great summer and had so much fun! I never thought I would be that mom to not want her kids to go back to school, but here I am. I dont want to stop our pajama days or our morning trips to the park. They will be going to preschool three days a week this year. Tomorrow we will spend the day getting their backpacks ready and picking out their first day of school outfits.
We had a great weekend. We went down to my parents river house and enjoyed spending time on the water. The boys had a blast and it was a great way to end our summer.
I hope that everyone has a great first day of school!

Dreams?

Have you ever had a dream? I think all of us have at some point in our lives. Some of those dreams are sillier than others. Last night my husband and I went to see Kenny Chesney in concert. I was very excited since I do have a little crush on that man. While I was watching the show I was reminded of my dream. I would have loved to be a singer! Can I sing, well I can carry a tune but I am definitely not stopping traffic. The sound of the fans, singing along with his songs. That must be an amazing feeling, to look out on all those people and hear your song! Dreaming is a part of life and although I know I am not going to ever become a famous singer I still have that ability to dream big dreams.

The love for your child.

Can anyone even put this thought into words? It is so hard. The love you have for your child is like nothing you could even explain. For me it was love at first site for both, I couldnt take my eyes off of them and even now 3 and 4 years later I still cant. You have a desire to protect them, care for them, love them, and give them the world. For those that are waiting on an adoption situation and you dont have any children know that wether you have given birth to those children or not it is always love at first site. I have given birth to two and know from previous failed placements that I fall in love with my "adopted child" just as easily as I did with my birth children. It is such a wonderful feeling. Children are so precious and each life is such a miracle how could you not fall madly in love with them.
Today my youngest son had an out patient surgery. I hated seeing him go through the unknown of preparing for surgery and it took all I had not to cry as I held his hand when they are putting him to sleep. Of course now that the surgery is over I want to hold him in my arms and not let him up until I know he is healed completely but I guess I cant do that. He tends to remind me that "he is not a baby!" :)
Being a parent is awesome and I am so blessed to have two and waiting on my third.

No news

I hate posting nothing! But I dont have anything to share. Things have been quiet on the adoption front. No calls, no e-mails. We are ready! Someone call! Someone e-mail! I cant wait until we have our baby.

We are Home!

Well we have returned from our much needed vacation at the beach. What an incredible week it was. We spent the week completely relaxed and not thinking or talking about adoption every 5 seconds. Of course did it completely leave my mind.....no......but it was still a good break. I would catch myself thinking that we would have had 3 children at the beach this year but I would push it out of my mind. I sat on the beach many times and watched my boys playing in the water and thinking that I was so blessed. Life is really beautiful and I wanted to take in every minute of every day watching my boys play in the water and in the sand. It was awesome. I didnt want to leave! But back to the daily grind we go. I stepped on the scale today and yes I gained 2 pounds....I know 2 pounds doesnt sound much but it is a pretty good amount for me. But I have to admit something.......IT WAS SO WORTH IT!

A Week Without the computer!

Will I make it?! HA! I can remember only about 11 years ago when I never ever got on a computer unless I was typing a report or doing some school research. Now I facebook, myspace, blog, e-mail, etc. I have spent the week packing and getting our family ready for a much needed family beach trip. We are heading to Myrtle Beach. This was definitely a last minute trip but everything in our lives lately has been a last minute change. After the failed adoption my husband said to me, "we need to get away." I think it will be great for us not to have the internet 24 hours a day. It will just be us, the four of us. We all need a mind release, a sense of relaxation. We will be leaving tomorrow for my mom's house, then Friday we are heading to Scott's aunt's house, and Saturday we are beach bound. Personally Saturday cant come soon enough. See you bloggers in a week!

It has already been a year

Wow here we are August! As I reflect on our year of trying to adopt I am still in shock that we are sitting here without a baby girl. It is hard and yet feels like it has gone by so fast. In August of 08 Scott and I were sitting in our den watching tv, having one of our heart to heart late night talks. We started to talk about more children, knowing that I couldnt carry anymore children we decided to start the adoption process. We always said we would adopt if we were able to so we started. I started researching and setting things up the very next day. I knew that we had awhile until our homestudy would be approved but I worked very hard spending that time collecting the needed material and researching agencies. We were aproved in November. I truly from the depths of my heart thought that we would have our baby before summer. And here we are. I have learned a great deal about adoption over the past year. Looking back I really had no idea what it was about, how much it cost, the rollercoaster ride we would be taking, or the long wait. After a year of waiting I am just as excited as I was then. I cant wait to hold her and kiss her. I will probably never put her down! So many people have told me that when you finally get your child the long wait and heart break you experienced is so worth it. I believe that.
In my mind I think we will have our baby by this time next year, but what if we dont? This time last year I thought we would. That is very hard to wrap my mind around. I must stay optimistic and know that god has a plan for us. We have been able to touch many people with our adoption journey and that gives me great peace.
So here we go embarking on another year........

Raising money to bring Baby Reagan Home

A week today

I woke up today and immediately thought of baby girl. She is one week today. I had been doing great all week, I wasnt thinking about her every 5 seconds, I wasnt closing my eyes and seeing her face. But today the feelings came flooding back. What is she doing today? How much does she weigh? How is she sleeping? I cant help but think about what we would be doing today if we had been able to take her home. But as I have done since we left the hospital last Saturday, I must pick myself up and keep busy. Today I will jam pack my day with cleaning, going to the gym, taking my oldest to football camp, and going to a friends house tonight for dinner. The good thing is that last night my husband and I booked our week trip to the beach. We leave one week from tomorrow. I am so excited to go and spend some quality time with the family. Hopefully after another week of healing I will be in a better frame of mind even more than I am after one week. I never thought I would miss someone so much that I only spent 24 hours with.

A sign?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo7WTBlo86s




This is why we chose to spell Reagan the way that we have. I came across this today and felt like it was a sign. We never even knew he was an adoptive parent.

Hate to post this!

I have been dreading getting on here, not that many people follow my blog but because I am writing words that I truly didnt think I would be writing. As you know we were leaving for an induction scheduled for 24th. We left on the 22nd, arrived on the 23rd (10.5 hours of driving). When we arrived in TN we went to pick up bmom and took her, her sister, and her son to dinner. We then went to the hospital, checked her in, got her settled. They began giving her dialation pills. We sat with her that night until 11PM. We arrived back at the hospital around 10AM on the 24th. We sat with the birth mom that morning. She delivered her baby at 12:44PM, myself and our adoption coordinator held her hand the entire time. I witnesses my first miracle, a baby being born. You may be thinking, I thought she had kids? I do but had c-sections with both....I had never witnessed a vaginal birth. What a beautiful thing to be apart of. I watched baby girl be brought into this world and I cut the cord. How incredible. I was crying like a baby and continued to hold the hand of our bmom, I looked at her like she was my hero. She looked at me with tears and said "please send me pictures, I said are you kidding, you are apart of our family now." Bmom didnt want to take care of the baby in fear it would be too hard. So she asked that we take over, I was the first to hold her, feed her, watch her get a bath, change her diaper. It was incredible. BMom asked to be released from the hospital that night, unusual we knew but thought if that is what she wanted than so be it. She left, my husband and I were given a room at the hospital and kept the baby all night. I cant even begin to tell you how much I bonded with that little girl over night. I kept looking at her wanting to memorize her face. Did I think this could possibly not work out, of course i did but I couldnt help but still have a great deal of hope. Why would a bmom let us take care of her this whole time if she wasnt going to follow through. I watched her lips open when she was sleeping, I watched her little hand constantly sneak out of her blanket to get to her face. She loved her passie, I spent 1 hour from 3:30-4:30 constantly sticking it back in because her cute little hand kept coming out of her blanket and hitting it out of her mouth. I feed her 3 times that night. I changed her diaper, and at 4:30 I sat with the nurse and talked to her about adoption and how excited we were. She was perfect. The next morning we got up and held her, fed her, showered, etc. I couldnt stop stearing at her. Our dreams had come true. The time was coming quickly, 12 noon the bmom was supposed to come to the hospital to start signing papers. At 12:20 a woman walks in to tell us that *A was there and she had changed her mind. My world was all of a sudden crashing down. I couldnt think, speak, all I could do was cry. Cry like I had never cried before. I fell into my husband's arms as our adoption coordinator ran out of the room. We were all shocked. About 3 minutes later the nurse came in to say those dreaded words, "she wants the baby now" I couldn't look up but could hear the baby being rolled out and I knew I would never see her again. I had dressed her in a beautiful outfit so that she could see her mom before papers were signed. I felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole and cry myself to sleep. I was mortified.
I immediately wanted out of the hospital. We packed up and left. I couldnt even see straight. I cried in the arms of our adoption coordinator and she cried with me. We just couldnt believe it. I wanted to get out of that state and quickly, I think my husband felt the same way. We began driving that day back home.
We returned home today and I started to cry just seeing my house. I wasnt supposed to be home this early. I wasnt supposed to be coming in to look at an empty nursery. I immediately closed the door to the nursery after putting her suitcase in the room. I knew I had to open to suitcase because there were 3 hats and one outfit she wore that I had to wash. I opened the suitcase and could smell her right away. The hats smelled just like her, the outfit smelt just like her. I sat there holding back tears. I havent been able to part with two hats, one is beside my bed and one is still sitting on top of the washer, for some reason I just cant let go yet.
So what to do now? I can tell you one thing, I have never wanted a baby as much as I do now. If I ever wondered for a second, and I did, if I could love an adoptive baby as much as I love my biological children, the answer is HELL YES. I feel as if I have had a baby die. I dont want to do anything. It takes all my energy to just get up and walk across the room. My first reaction after we found out was to give up, I couldnt go through this again. My heart hurts too bad. What is going to keep my going is knowing that I will have her one day.
The weirdest thing about this whole adventure is that I never kissed her, I never called her Reagan, and I never called myself mommy. Was that god telling me this wasnt her? Was that my own wall of protection not letting me fall too much? I am not sure but I feel like it was someone trying to tell me something. As much as I thought she was Reagan, she must not have been. My husband said to me, "It wasnt her, she is out there somewhere."
My prayer for today:
Lord please give me strength. Please also give strength to the birth mom as I know that she made an adoption plan because of the not so great life she had. I know that there is a lesson in this and I will see it when the hurt begins to heal. I trust in you and know you will bring us to our baby.

Dates

I have always been a believer of signs! As we approach our travel day this Thursday I am consumed with the connection of dates with this match. Our BM's first due date was August 13th, my mom and dad's wedding anniversary. The due date was changed to August 27th my grandmother's birthday (she passed away when I was 8). The induction date and the main reason for my goosebumps July 24th, 3 years since my husband's father lost his battle with cancer at 45. My husband and I have many angels looking down on us from above. I may be reading into this too much, but it almost gives me peace. Just like I said, I know they are looking down on us. They will protect us and give us the strength.

Due Date in the horizon

As you can see from our adoption time line we have been matched with a birth mom. We have been patiently awaiting the arrival of a baby girl. Now that patience has ended. We are anxiously awaiting her arrival. Baby girl should be born in the next 2 weeks. We are hoping to know soon if she is going to be induced. As we sit on the edge of our third match/placement those nervous feelings are flooding back. We are cautious and yet so excited.
Baby's suitcase is already packed, it has actually been packed for awhile. I never unpacked it from our 2 other failed matches. I just threw it in the closet and knew that one day we would be needing it again and here we are. I cleaned the stroller and the carseat. My oldest son was asking me what I was doing the whole time! Did I have the heart to tell him no, I just told him that it was a little dirty and I needed to clean it. He is too young to completely understand what is happening.
The thoughts flowing through my mind right now? Will the BM change her mind? If she does can my heart take another punch?
I told my sister yesterday that God already knows what is going to happen in the next two weeks. There is nothing that I do today or tomorrow that will change his plan. I need to sit back, take a deep breath, and put all my faith in his decisions.
I am so grateful to have been able to talk to our BM weekly throughout this process. I have come to admire her and care for her so much.
My prayer for today: God please bring peace and strength to our birth mother as she endures the hardest decision she will ever have to make. Please also bring peace and strength to my husband and I as we lay our heart out once again in the hopes that we will meet our daughter.

Our 4th of July

It has been awhile since I have blogged. I thought I would write and show some pics of our 4th of July. We had a nice quiet 4th, but missing Scott tremendously. We went to my parents house and stayed on the river which is always nice. We feasted on crabs, ribs, pasta salad, potatoe salad, and lots of desserts!

We also ventured out to Williamsburg. Great place to visit if you are looking for a fun day with the family. We went to Colonial Williamsburg and walked around. We also went to Yankee Candle which is the biggest yankee candle I have ever seen! The kids were amazed and didnt want to leave. Never thought I would take my children to a candle store and they wouldnt want to leave. We had a nice time together.

I hope that everyone had a great 4th of July!

Nice mini-vacation with my boys!

We had a great 4 day weekend! Scott was able to take off work and we traveled around seeing family. Our first stop was grandma and grandpas. We then went to Busch Gardens. We headed to Va Beach for a graduation and we finished our trip off at Yaya and Papas. We celebrated Father's Day on the water. We had such a great time, it was hard to come back to reality.

Father's Day was special just being able to honor my husband. He is such a wonderful dad. He is always involved in our children's lives. He loves them unconditionally. He is an incredible person and a wonderful role model, I love him with all my heart.

Tis the season for birthdays and graduations!

What a busy week it has been. My youngest sister graduated from high school yesterday and my baby turns 3 tomorrow! So exciting. I watched my sister get her diploma yesterday thinking that time flies so quickly. I cant even imagine watching my children getting their diploma! It seems so far away right now but yet the past 3 years of my son's life has gone by so quickly! Does that mean it only speads up even more!

I dont want to rush a thing and enjoy every single minute I have with my children. The picture above is my youngest Lucas minutes after he was born. He was 3 weeks early as was my first son. He also tried to come early so I was on bedrest for awhile waiting for him to enter the world. He is an incredible human being. He is my cuddler, he always tells me that I am his best buddy. He has a temper but does get over things very quickly. He has a quick sense of humor and makes me laugh everyday. I love him more than words can explain and I am so glad that he is in my life!

Planning a birthday party!

In the midst of our adoption journey I have felt very strong in making sure that our life carries on as normal as possible. I think that my husband and I have done an incredible job making sure that happens. A big thing in our family is birthday. As we wait for our princess I wanted to make sure that my boys have one of the best birthdays! I had decided in May of 2008 (yes a year ago) that I would have a carnival themed birthday party for my boys. Since their birthday is only 11 days apart we have always had them share a party. This year I invited all the kids from my oldest son's class and all the kids from my youngest son's playgroup. We are expecting about 14-17 kids as of right now. Here are some ideas and some money saving tips for this theme:
Decorations:
For a carnival theme birthday I want colors and more colors! I ordered a bag of balloons from Oriental Trading. It was much cheaper than Party City and I got so many more balloons. I will blow up all the balloons and disperse them in groups of 3 all of the banister inside the house, the front lamp posts, the mailbox, all along the fence in the backyard, at each station table. I also ordered streamers from Oriental Trading which was cheaper as well. I will put those all over the fence and inside on the banister.
Stations:
I am having a pop corn station (rented the popcorn machine from a local business) this was only $75. I have a station for pin the tail on the donkey, bowling, toss the bean bag, cotton candy (ordered from www.rainbowcottoncandy.com, great site and cheap!), duck pond (got off ebay for $15), face painter (made a reservation with a local artist to come), lollipop tree, and candy apples (my mom is making those)
Food:
I went to Costco and got all the food and drinks. My total for the food and drinks was about $120. I am only serving hotdogs and chips. I figured with popcorn, cotton candy, and candy apples that should be enough.
Cake:
I have a friend making a cake that is going to look like a bag of popcorn!
Bags and Tickets:
Each child will get a yellow bag with their name on it and inside the bag is 20 red tickets that they will use to go from station to station. I bought the bags and tickets at Party City.
Helpers:
I recruited some young teenagers to come over and man each station as the kids come up to it.
Signs:
I bought some poster board and decorated each poster board with the name of the station and the number of tickets that each game requires.
Prizes:
I got some bags of candy/prizes from Party City and some fancy suckers from Oriental Trading.

A party like this can be very manageable and low in price. The kids will probably have a great time!
I will post pictures after the party so you can visually see!

My baby turns 4 on May 25th

As May 25th approaches I remember where I was and what I was doing 4 years ago. I was impatiently waiting the arrival of my first son- William. I was on bedrest with William for about 2 months because he really wanted to come early. So I laid around and let him cook as long as he could. He tried to come on May 24th while Scott and I were watching American Idol! My water broke - but not enough for me to know that William was trying to make an appearance. I went to the doctor the next day only to find out yes my water had broke and I was off to the hospital! That evening William was born via C-section. And he was perfect! I remembering being so scared and then when they brought him over to me and I looked at his face it was love at first sight! I had never seen anything as perfect as him! At that moment I knew what people had been talking about- that love you feel for your child when you first see them. William is an incredible little man! He is just like his dad- a great sense of humor, handsome, loving, and compassionate. He makes me laugh everyday. Someone told me that a son's love is like nothing else and I definitely know what they mean.

Happy Birthday William, I love you always and forever!

Crabs!

I am happy to say we had our first crab feast on Saturday. It is a big event in my family. See I grew up running up and down piers, riding in boats, chasing and catching lighting bugs, and swimming in the river! Yes the river. Anyone who has grown up in Virginia has been to the river and some even live on the river. I was one of the lucky ones, both of my grandparents had a house on the river and both sets of my parents now have a house on the river. It is definitely a way of life! The "rivah" folk are seen laying in old T-shirts and capris/shorts (nothing ever matches!) laying on the pier enjoying the breeze coming off the water. You will also find us picking crabs, eating oysters, and the open door policy always in play. It is a relaxed way of life and no one can replace it!

My sister and her husband pictured above enjoying the crabs- caught off the pier!

I love knowing that my children will grow up with such wonderful memories as I have from a childhood on the river.

How can we do it?

I have spent a lot of time on the adoption forums and message boards over these last 8 months. I can tell you that I have learned so much and met some incredible people. The most frequent post I see is How do I raise enough money to pay for an adoption? I thought I would take a few minutes and share some things that we have done over the past 8 months.

My husband and I live a comfortable life. We have always been able to get what we need and what our children need. Of course when looking at adoption and the adoption fees we knew that we would have to watch what we spend and complete a few fundraisers in order to pay for our adoption. We are very careful and cautious with our money, we do not like debt and except for our house of course have been able to live debt free throughout our marriage. Knowing that about us we knew that we would not be comfortable taking out loans or emptying out any retirement accounts. We were going to do this the old fashion way!

When we started the adoption process we immediately set our budget knowing that over time that budget would increase as we continued to cut back and complete fundraisers. The first thing we did was a yard sale. Many adoptive parents start here. I do reccomend it as it went very well. I had posted on some of my local mom's boards that we were having a yard sale and if anyone was trying to get rid of stuff let me know I would be happy to take it off their hands as long as they didnt mind we sold it for our adoption. We had a few people donate some items and the rest was just stuff from our basement that we hadnt taken the time to clean out. It went very well.

From their I knew I needed to cut back on our grocery shopping. We averaged about $500 a month in groceries and I knew I could bring that down. I sat down every 3 weeks and organized my shopping list- I planned out my meals for each week and knew exactly what I needed. I then got on http://www.mygrocerylist.com/, I could enter everything I needed and it would tell me what stores near me had each item on sale. It was great. Now granted this would take a little bit more time because I would be having to shop at 3 different stores, but I didnt mind and it really wasnt that bad. I bought my meat and chicken at Costco along with cleaning supplies. I also took the Sunday paper and clipped coupons. Before I entered the store I went through the coupons. I also took advantage of Giant's 10 for $10 sales. If it was 5 for $5 or 10 for $10 I bought it! I was able to lower our monthly grocery bill to about $300 a month. This helped a great deal.

Also looking on a great website: www.mommysavers.com helped tremendously. Great tips and tricks on saving money everyday!

We also completed a fundraiser through Antiquities Portrait Fundraiser. We sold 60 tickets at $10 a peice for people to get their pictures taken. The pictures turned out great! These are the pictures above of my boys.

We also did two online Tastefully Simple fundraisers. We sent out an evite to all family and friends and was able to get 30% of the total sales toward our adoption.

We continued to save every penny- we tried not to go out to eat as much unless we had cash to pay for the meal. We used to just put it on the credit card and pay it off each month but now we were going cash only!

I am lucky to stay home with my boys. I love to take them places and keep them active. The best thing has been my mom's group. We have about 50 members and there is an activity to pick almost everyday of the week. The best part is most of these events are in people's homes. We got to get out of the house, have fun at no cost, I could have adult interaction, and the kids could make great friends. As our group became more active our playgroups became more craft oriented as well- now you can pick from tie die playdates, to play-doh playdates, to park playdates. It is great entertainment!

A big fundraiser for us is Hope For Reagan. I started this small fundraiser in honor of our future daughter Reagan. I custom make tutus for children and adults. I saw a tutu online and thought to myself, why cant I do that myself. So I researched how to make them and there you go! I was making tutus for people left and right! With my dance background I know how young girls love to dress up and pretend to be a princess so I knew little girls would love this!

Find a special talent that you have and run with it! The possibilities are endless.

We were also very lucky to have people donate money toward our adoption. We will never forget the generosity of those people! We started a chipin event on our website that people use to donate.

I tell you I still think in amazement that we were able to raise and save as much money toward our adoption as we have. We know that we can do anything we set our minds to. The people that participated in our fundraisers have been amazing! I will always be greatful!

Our Adoption Journey and where we are now.

I havent added much about our adoption journey so far except for the time line so I thought I would go ahead and tell a little bit about what we have experienced and what we are experiencing. We started our journey in August of 08. Scott and I were sitting in our den late one night and talking about life and our future, adoption has always been in the back of our minds but we never knew when we would start the process or if we even ever would. We decided that night we would start! We were both excited, unsure, scared, and lost! Along with many other adoptive families we were lost as to where to start. I began my online research! Reading tons of articles, blogs, forums, etc. We picked our homestudy agency and began to collect the papers needed to complete that process. It took us about 2.5 months to complete our homestudy. We were officially approved on Nov. 17, 2008. At that point I knew we were not going to go with the agency that had completed our homestudy only because we were told that our wait would be 3-4 years since we wanted a girl. They were so nice to send us a list of agencies some of their other families had used and felt successful with. After much research I chose agency A. I felt so comfortable with my decision. We were given many connections to other agencies and I felt like we had so many people working with us and for us. January rolled around and I felt more and more like I may have made the wrong decision. Things were so different with agency A- no one was returning our calls or e-mails. February rolled around and I was feeling the same way if not more. Than March was upon us, we had been waiting approved for 3 months which really isnt that long but man was I ansy! :) I took a chance on contacting an agency in Utah called Heart to Heart. In a matter of 2 weeks I had more people answering my questions, e-mails, and calls than I had since we began the process in August. By the end of March we were matched with a BM due on April 7. Unfortuntitely that BM decided before her due date to parent. We were upset but at the same time we were prepared. We know that adoption brings a great deal of ups and downs. On April 7 our agency matched us again with a BM due on April 12. We traveled to the BM after the baby had been born. After a few hours of being in the state we found out she decided to parent. I definitely wont pretend that one didnt burn. I always try to be strong in situations like that and I definitely try to cover my emotions but I am sure this one was written all over my face. I felt an emptiness inside, I never saw the baby but I couldnt stop thinking about her. Thank goodness Scott was there with me and feeling the same sadness I was. I felt as though we both woke up at the same time that morning around 6AM and looked at each other and said, "Let's get out of here and go pick up our boys!" And we did just that. For the next week I was a zombie, I got right back into my normal routine but looking back I was just going through the motions. I couldnt help but think about the baby and what she was doing and what she looked like. As time passed my mind cleared and I felt so much better.

I have learned a great deal about myself and the adoption world over the past 8 months. #1- I didnt think that I had this must strength. #2- I have never had more faith in the lord as I do now #3 - I truly believe that god has a plan for my family and I #4 - I love my husband and my children more than I can even try to explain #5- I truly believe that people are brought into our lives for a reason.

Angels are definitely among us in spirit form and human form. I know why I contacted Heart to Heart in March. I was meant to meet them. The women that I have come in contact with at this agency are incredible. They are the only people that have shown so much interest and have worried right along beside me with each situation. I will forever be greatful to this agency.

If you are looking into adoption and are not sure whether it is the right path for you. Understand that it is so important to do your research. This is not a simple avenue to take and it does take a toll on you. But when you see that glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel you cant help but want to see who is waiting for you. The selfless act of a woman to give her child to you is an unbelieveable gift. We as women can honor and have such respect for one another.

I know we will meet our Reagan one day. I cant wait to welcome her into our family!

Here are some pictures of her room. Everything is done, now we just need to meet!

Busch Gardens

Amusement Parks are so much fun! We went to Busch Gardens in Va last week and had a great time. This is the second trip to this amusement park in 3 weeks but hey I bought a fun card and we can go as many times as we want until Sept. you better believe we are going A LOT! We started the day at 10Am when the park opened. The boys made it until about 3:30 which is actually a little bit longer than last time. They get so tired and try to fight sleep just so they can go on the next ride. Busch Gardens is a great park- clean and everyone is very friendly. If you havent been to visit- GO! They have a great little Elmo park that the kids love. The characters come out and sing and then take pictures with the kids. Their is also the Land of the Dragons with lots of neat tunnels and bridges for kids.

We are definitly staying busy while the weather continues to heat up. This is my favorite time of year! I just love getting the kids outside and doing fun activities!

The weekend

I am a huge fan of the weekend! I am sure most of you are thinking- well of course! We all are huge fans. But I am truly blessed to be able to stay home 24/7 with my two incredible boys and when Friday rolls around I get so excited that the weekend is here. I love having my husband home on the weekends. I usually get up on Saturday morning and make cinnamon rolls for the family or special pancakes. When the weather is cold outside we usually lay around most of the weekend and watch movies but when the weather is warm out we spend most of our time out doors. Today the weather was 75 degrees, PERFECT! We went to lunch, went to a children's festival, went to the park, went to Target, and came home to relax for a bit only to get back in the car and head to dinner. We are suckers for eating out on the weekends. We love enjoying a good hamburger or sub so we usually hit up Firehouse Subs or Red Robin. Of course our normal hang out is Hard Times- they know us by our first names there on the weekend! So sad! HA!
Tomorrow brings another busy day. We must pack Scott for his trip which I am not looking forward to and hopefully head back outside to enjoy the weather. I can honestly say that I love being with all my boys on the weekend!!!!

Easter

I am a HUGE fan of holidays! I love decorating the house for every holiday. From hearts on the doors at Valentine's Day and Eggs at Easter. We have been talking about Easter to the boys for the past couple of weeks. They were very excited about the Easter Bunny and decorating eggs! We took them to see the Easter Bunny about a week before Easter, to our surprise there were no tears! LOVE IT! It was the first picture we have gotten (with Santa or Easter Bunny) with no tears. Scott and I were shocked!

For Easter we headed to the river to spend the day with grandma and grandpa. We went down on Saturday night. It was a bit chilly outside so we all just sat inside and relaxed. Mom made her famous spaghetti which is one of my favorites! We then made an Easter Gingerbread House! I had never seen something like this- Christmas yet but Easter? A good friend of mine gave the boys this house and we had the best time decorating it.

We went to bed and let the boys know that they had to go to bed so that the Easter Bunny could come! Of course we still heard the usual giggling but they finally fell asleep. Scott always had to search for his Easter basket on Easter morning so we have started that tradition with the boys. This year it was in the utility room. They did find it though and were pretty excited. Well almost- The "Easter Bunny" made the mistake of buying one boy a batman and one boy a spiderman who would have guessed they both wanted the batman! Good grief! But the day moved so quickly they got over it!

We had a great time on Easter. We ate too much and even dabbled in a little Easter egg hunt! It was fun!

Am I a Blogger?

My first entry and I really mean my first entry! I have never been much of a blogger but here I am. I want my friends and family to be able to follow our family and our journey to adoption. What a journey it has been! I will write more later after I learn how to use this thing! :)