Our Adoption Journey and where we are now.

I havent added much about our adoption journey so far except for the time line so I thought I would go ahead and tell a little bit about what we have experienced and what we are experiencing. We started our journey in August of 08. Scott and I were sitting in our den late one night and talking about life and our future, adoption has always been in the back of our minds but we never knew when we would start the process or if we even ever would. We decided that night we would start! We were both excited, unsure, scared, and lost! Along with many other adoptive families we were lost as to where to start. I began my online research! Reading tons of articles, blogs, forums, etc. We picked our homestudy agency and began to collect the papers needed to complete that process. It took us about 2.5 months to complete our homestudy. We were officially approved on Nov. 17, 2008. At that point I knew we were not going to go with the agency that had completed our homestudy only because we were told that our wait would be 3-4 years since we wanted a girl. They were so nice to send us a list of agencies some of their other families had used and felt successful with. After much research I chose agency A. I felt so comfortable with my decision. We were given many connections to other agencies and I felt like we had so many people working with us and for us. January rolled around and I felt more and more like I may have made the wrong decision. Things were so different with agency A- no one was returning our calls or e-mails. February rolled around and I was feeling the same way if not more. Than March was upon us, we had been waiting approved for 3 months which really isnt that long but man was I ansy! :) I took a chance on contacting an agency in Utah called Heart to Heart. In a matter of 2 weeks I had more people answering my questions, e-mails, and calls than I had since we began the process in August. By the end of March we were matched with a BM due on April 7. Unfortuntitely that BM decided before her due date to parent. We were upset but at the same time we were prepared. We know that adoption brings a great deal of ups and downs. On April 7 our agency matched us again with a BM due on April 12. We traveled to the BM after the baby had been born. After a few hours of being in the state we found out she decided to parent. I definitely wont pretend that one didnt burn. I always try to be strong in situations like that and I definitely try to cover my emotions but I am sure this one was written all over my face. I felt an emptiness inside, I never saw the baby but I couldnt stop thinking about her. Thank goodness Scott was there with me and feeling the same sadness I was. I felt as though we both woke up at the same time that morning around 6AM and looked at each other and said, "Let's get out of here and go pick up our boys!" And we did just that. For the next week I was a zombie, I got right back into my normal routine but looking back I was just going through the motions. I couldnt help but think about the baby and what she was doing and what she looked like. As time passed my mind cleared and I felt so much better.

I have learned a great deal about myself and the adoption world over the past 8 months. #1- I didnt think that I had this must strength. #2- I have never had more faith in the lord as I do now #3 - I truly believe that god has a plan for my family and I #4 - I love my husband and my children more than I can even try to explain #5- I truly believe that people are brought into our lives for a reason.

Angels are definitely among us in spirit form and human form. I know why I contacted Heart to Heart in March. I was meant to meet them. The women that I have come in contact with at this agency are incredible. They are the only people that have shown so much interest and have worried right along beside me with each situation. I will forever be greatful to this agency.

If you are looking into adoption and are not sure whether it is the right path for you. Understand that it is so important to do your research. This is not a simple avenue to take and it does take a toll on you. But when you see that glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel you cant help but want to see who is waiting for you. The selfless act of a woman to give her child to you is an unbelieveable gift. We as women can honor and have such respect for one another.

I know we will meet our Reagan one day. I cant wait to welcome her into our family!

Here are some pictures of her room. Everything is done, now we just need to meet!