Dreams?

Have you ever had a dream? I think all of us have at some point in our lives. Some of those dreams are sillier than others. Last night my husband and I went to see Kenny Chesney in concert. I was very excited since I do have a little crush on that man. While I was watching the show I was reminded of my dream. I would have loved to be a singer! Can I sing, well I can carry a tune but I am definitely not stopping traffic. The sound of the fans, singing along with his songs. That must be an amazing feeling, to look out on all those people and hear your song! Dreaming is a part of life and although I know I am not going to ever become a famous singer I still have that ability to dream big dreams.

The love for your child.

Can anyone even put this thought into words? It is so hard. The love you have for your child is like nothing you could even explain. For me it was love at first site for both, I couldnt take my eyes off of them and even now 3 and 4 years later I still cant. You have a desire to protect them, care for them, love them, and give them the world. For those that are waiting on an adoption situation and you dont have any children know that wether you have given birth to those children or not it is always love at first site. I have given birth to two and know from previous failed placements that I fall in love with my "adopted child" just as easily as I did with my birth children. It is such a wonderful feeling. Children are so precious and each life is such a miracle how could you not fall madly in love with them.
Today my youngest son had an out patient surgery. I hated seeing him go through the unknown of preparing for surgery and it took all I had not to cry as I held his hand when they are putting him to sleep. Of course now that the surgery is over I want to hold him in my arms and not let him up until I know he is healed completely but I guess I cant do that. He tends to remind me that "he is not a baby!" :)
Being a parent is awesome and I am so blessed to have two and waiting on my third.

No news

I hate posting nothing! But I dont have anything to share. Things have been quiet on the adoption front. No calls, no e-mails. We are ready! Someone call! Someone e-mail! I cant wait until we have our baby.

We are Home!

Well we have returned from our much needed vacation at the beach. What an incredible week it was. We spent the week completely relaxed and not thinking or talking about adoption every 5 seconds. Of course did it completely leave my mind.....no......but it was still a good break. I would catch myself thinking that we would have had 3 children at the beach this year but I would push it out of my mind. I sat on the beach many times and watched my boys playing in the water and thinking that I was so blessed. Life is really beautiful and I wanted to take in every minute of every day watching my boys play in the water and in the sand. It was awesome. I didnt want to leave! But back to the daily grind we go. I stepped on the scale today and yes I gained 2 pounds....I know 2 pounds doesnt sound much but it is a pretty good amount for me. But I have to admit something.......IT WAS SO WORTH IT!

A Week Without the computer!

Will I make it?! HA! I can remember only about 11 years ago when I never ever got on a computer unless I was typing a report or doing some school research. Now I facebook, myspace, blog, e-mail, etc. I have spent the week packing and getting our family ready for a much needed family beach trip. We are heading to Myrtle Beach. This was definitely a last minute trip but everything in our lives lately has been a last minute change. After the failed adoption my husband said to me, "we need to get away." I think it will be great for us not to have the internet 24 hours a day. It will just be us, the four of us. We all need a mind release, a sense of relaxation. We will be leaving tomorrow for my mom's house, then Friday we are heading to Scott's aunt's house, and Saturday we are beach bound. Personally Saturday cant come soon enough. See you bloggers in a week!

It has already been a year

Wow here we are August! As I reflect on our year of trying to adopt I am still in shock that we are sitting here without a baby girl. It is hard and yet feels like it has gone by so fast. In August of 08 Scott and I were sitting in our den watching tv, having one of our heart to heart late night talks. We started to talk about more children, knowing that I couldnt carry anymore children we decided to start the adoption process. We always said we would adopt if we were able to so we started. I started researching and setting things up the very next day. I knew that we had awhile until our homestudy would be approved but I worked very hard spending that time collecting the needed material and researching agencies. We were aproved in November. I truly from the depths of my heart thought that we would have our baby before summer. And here we are. I have learned a great deal about adoption over the past year. Looking back I really had no idea what it was about, how much it cost, the rollercoaster ride we would be taking, or the long wait. After a year of waiting I am just as excited as I was then. I cant wait to hold her and kiss her. I will probably never put her down! So many people have told me that when you finally get your child the long wait and heart break you experienced is so worth it. I believe that.
In my mind I think we will have our baby by this time next year, but what if we dont? This time last year I thought we would. That is very hard to wrap my mind around. I must stay optimistic and know that god has a plan for us. We have been able to touch many people with our adoption journey and that gives me great peace.
So here we go embarking on another year........